APPEAL: Football Coaches Urgently Required To Save USA From Further International Embarrassment

Each year, millions of young Americans gleefully take to soccer pitches all over the country hoping and dreaming to one day be competent at the beautiful game. Tragically even the very best players that the US can produce, cannot beat Trinidad & Tobago, a country with a total population smaller than San Diego.

The result has condemned the hapless American soccer team to what is a hilarious failure to reach the World Cup in Russia next summer. Why? Well, basically it’s because they the US don’t have the skills to compete. It shouldn’t be like this…

Can you really sleep at night knowing the heartache and global embarrassment players like Christian Pulisic and DeAndre Yedlin are suffering?

We simply will not stand idle and allow the standard of football in the US to cause such pain and mortification. We are committed to making each and every underage American capable of more than 6 keepy uppies in one go. We believe, with young Irish men and women’s help – we can achieve footballing competence across the US nation. Help is on the way!
We are looking for a team of passionate, selfless Irish people willing to get paid a salary, avail of free accommodation and access to a rental car to spend next summer in the US, showing the next generation how soccer is actually played! This thankless task, full of sacrifice in the beautiful summer sunshine of the US is open to anyone with a keen interest in football, a passion for coaching and a willingness to help those far less talented.

If you are ready to accept the challenge, the USIT Soccer Camp USA programme will be holding free to attend Assessment Days (think of it as SEAL training but with a 90% pass rate despite not needing any coaching badge or prior experience) in Dublin, Limerick, Waterford, Cork and Galway this November.

Please only apply if you are committed to banish heartbreaking images like this to the history books.

Image via @SportsIllustrated.